Solitude, or loneliness?

I’ve just had another day all to myself.  Solitude, or loneliness?  Those words are similar, but with such different connotations.  I’m not sure which of the two is more accurate.

It’s been a really intense time at work.  Really, really crazy.  3am, 5.30am finishes.  And I feel spent.  I’m only just starting to feel human again.

I hope one day, I’ll be able to look back and see that it was all worth it.  That I made the right choices.

On the whole, I think I have.  I think I’ve largely made the right choices.  I don’t have many regrets.

On the other hand, sometimes I feel like I haven’t done much living.  I’m right on the cusp of 30.  Some people have crammed so much into their lives by now.  They have so many interesting stories to tell.  I feel like perhaps I’ve always put my life on hold for some reason or another.  Like there’s always a goal or obstacle stopping me from doing the things I want to do.  Right now, I know I work too much.  But what was my excuse before?

I love that feeling when I’m travelling, when I feel totally free.  But that’s not real life.  I guess real life is full of compromises.  And sometimes you have to put in the hard yards today, to get to where you want to be tomorrow.

Maybe… maybe not.  As I say, I hope I can look back and be happy with the choices that I’ve made.

And my holiday, my time of freedom, is so close now.  Only one week to go.  UK, Sweden and Switzerland, here I come!


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